


I like me better when I'm with you

by malecshm



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 17:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15845970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecshm/pseuds/malecshm
Summary: Magnus's only half-listening to the two bicker because as Alec trail behind his teammates, he looks back at Magnus and locks eyes with him. He motions for Magnus to check his phone.





	I like me better when I'm with you

  
Thrill admittedly pricks his fingers when he spots the school’s soccer team - UHS Golden Wolves, threading down the hallway in a tight pack. Magnus downplays the grin threatening to spread on his face.  
  
"Arg," Raphael groans after following Magnus's line of sight. "Prepare for the stink of sporty sweat in three... two..."  
  
On cue, the rest of the drama club laughs, all eyes now on the pile of boys coming their way.  
  
"HELLO WOLVES!!!" Raphael greets them with an exaggerated cheerfulness. "Good luck on your game!"  
  
Luke, the soccer captain, stops in front of them and frowns. "The game was yesterday," he informs, tone deprecating, because surely everyone on campus is supposed to know that.  
  
"Oh well, then," Raphael says unfazed, his voice escalates, "NICE GAME BOYS!"  
  
Magnus laughs as well as some of members of the soccer team, Alec and Meliorn and Jace.  
  
"They lost," Magnus, explains when Raphael looks at him.  
  
"Ahhhhhh," Raphael drawls happily as he turns back to Luke. "Well I'm sure you still did a very nice job," he says with a mocking grin.  
  
"We actually did," Luke says holding his ground and towering over Raphael. On his either side, two of his teammates drape an arm over Luke’s shoulders to steer him away. Luke allows himself be dragged but not before having the last word. "Good luck on your talent show by the way!" he calls behind his shoulder, his teammates either eye-rolling or hollering after him.  
  
"It's called a musical! And thank you!" Raphael yells back, his "thank you" probably sounds the most sarcastic in the history of sarcasm. "And it's the production of Three Musketeers no less," he says more to himself now, tugging his sequined blazer snugged against his frame.  
  
"They'd probably like it," Ragnor comments, gesturing to the Wolves with his eyes. "Swords fight and all that. We should probably invite-"  
  
"Don’t even say it. No," Raphael interrupts.  
  
“I’m only saying-“  
  
“No-“  
  
“But-“  
  
“No.”  
  
Magnus's only half-listening to the two bicker because as Alec trail behind his teammates, he looks back at Magnus and locks eyes with him. He motions for Magnus to check his phone.  
  
"What are you lookin' at? Underhill asks from his other side and Magnus peels his gaze away to focus on him.  
  
_"Nothing,"_  he singsongs and waits for all the attention to center back on Raphael and Ragnor arguing before fishing for his phone.  
  
_Meet me under the bleachers after class._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I-"  
  
Magnus interrupts him with his fervent mouth against his. Alec’s surprise lasts only for a millisecond, kind of used to Magnus’s attacks by now, before he's kissing Magnus back, hands automatically falling to cup Magnus's ass. Alec has a thing for them, it's safe for Magnus to assume now. Evidence is strong.  
  
Their mouth move together frantically and Magnus throws his head back for when Alec kisses him deeper. He moans when he feels Alec’s tongue slides against his and whines for Alec to follow through. They kiss open-mouthed and loud, a little messy and a lot hot.  
  
Magnus pulls back for air and manages to ask, "You were saying?" before attaching his mouth to Alec’s neck this time.  
  
"I only have twenty minutes till practice," Alec says, then moans when Magnus sucks on his pulse point.  
  
"Got you beat,” Magnus says drawing an inch back and bopping their noses together. “Only got fifteen till rehearsals. Fourteen now." And his fingers waste no time and goes directly for Alec’s belt.  
  
This isn't the first time. They've done this before, right in this very spot, with Alec’s back against the metal railings. But it was during sundown then, when they were mere shadows. So hesitation flashes in Alec’s face before a bit of nervous excitement. Magnus smirks and Alec bites around a moan for when Magnus wraps his deft fingers around his length.  
  
"Come on now, don't hold back. We're in a hurry," Magnus coaxes, uses his free hand to pry out Alec’s bottom lip from his teeth, the other he uses for pumping Alec to full hardness, swiping his thumb against Alec’s slit. Alec hisses. Shakes.  
  
"Blow me, come on."  
  
Magnus arches a brow because before, even in the dark, Alec held Magnus firmly upright to keep him from dropping to his knees. Alec will only go as far as semi-public hand jobs. But now, he’s asking Magnus to blow him and even pushing him down impatiently by his shoulders.  
  
Magnus can’t help it. "Had you properly trained in being reckless and fun, hadn't I?"  
  
"Or I'm just horny for your mouth,  _come on."_  
  
Magnus balks. Alec doesn't say shits like that. And now, Alec’s already red in the face, breathing harshly and looking desperate for it and Magnus could double over in arousal at how hot Alec looks like this. Uncontrolled. Magnus loves being the cause of this.  
  
Magnus hisses. "Fuck.” And just like that, he’s on his knees, his knees are gonna have grass stains and it’s gonna hurt, this position, but who the hell cares. "No need to sweet talk me into it babe," he tells Alec one last time before he occupies his mouth with something else.  
  
Both of them moan at the first wet hot contact. Magnus closes his eyes as he lets the heat and the feel and taste take over, Alec to take over with his hands at the back of Magnus’s head, threading his fingers on his hair.  
  
It's incredibly arousing, doing this in broad daylight, in open space, inside campus premises no less, when they can hear the mindless noise of other students from the distance. And Alec thrusting into his mouth and making obscene noises from the back of his throat.  
  
"Fuck," Alec hisses when Magnus brings him down his throat, swallows around him. "Fuck... you're so... good at this. Fuck."  
  
Magnus sucks him down harder for it, because Alec very rarely swears, very rarely dirty talks. As much as Magnus wants to draw this out, to hear Alec swear and moan and groan, they're on a schedule. So less than a minute later, he gets Alec tugging painfully at his hair and quietly coming down his throat.  
  
Before Magnus can catch what dribbled down his chin with a finger, Alec grabs him and pulls him up for a heated kiss, licking his own come off Magnus’s face. Magnus needs something, anything, to touch him right now. He works frantically on his own pants but Alec slaps his hand away, taking over the task and being a little clumsy and rough about it.  
  
Magnus giggles. “Why are you so worked up today?” And then chokes because Alec gripped him hard.  
  
“I only saw you once this week,” Alec breathes. “Do you realize that?”  
  
Of course Magnus realized that. He literally lives for the moment they can finally meet up like this. Or maybe not like this, he daydreams of a moment that isn’t sneaked and timed.  
  
“Shit. Ahhh.”  
  
Magnus is loud, and he knows Alec enjoys that. They're on public space though and Alec clamps his palm on Magnus's mouth during a particularly loud and long moan.  
  
"Be quiet," Alec says under his breath, the low rumble of his voice shooting straight to Magnus’s groin and eliciting a groan from him. He glares up at Alec and shakes his hand off his mouth.  
  
"Why would I? You weren't-"  
  
Alec shuts him up with his mouth. Magnus doesn’t mind. There's something so intimate in the way Alec’s jerking him off and consequently swallowing down his moans. And that's how he comes, Alec’s fingers jerking him fast, his arms holding him up, and his mouth muffling his scream.  
  
He slumps against Alec, catching his breath, forehead pressed against the side of Alec’s neck. He feels Alec fumbling around himself - looking, no doubt, for his endless supply of tissue. Magnus saves him the trouble, grabs Alec’s hand and licks his come off for him. He makes a show of it too, sucking each digits slowly, laving at his palm, all while looking up at Alec.  
  
Alec’s mouth is parted open as he watches. On the onset, Alec hated it when there's too much saliva involved, in anything. But it's not long before he's trading skills for enthusiasm. And enthusiasm, Magnus's got a lot of that.  
  
"Times up," Alec mutters, withdraws his hand with a lingering swipe against Magnus's raw lips.  
  
It's not true though, they still have a couple of minutes according to Alec’s wrist watch and Magnus uses all the minutes for messing Alec up and making sure he’ll get weird looks from his teammates when he shows up for practice.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_I can't keep up with practice, my legs feel weak._  
  
He reads Alec’s message during rehearsals break and can't help but bark a laugh. Underhill looks at him questioningly and he flashes him an innocent smile that he's sure Underhill will not buy, just like the reason Magnus gave for being late.  
  
His phone vibrates in his hand and it's Alec again.  
  
_Lukes killing me._  
  
He grins at his phone and continues grinning at it as he types out a reply.  
  
_Can relate. My throat’s being bitch, voice keeps cracking and Raphael keeps looking at me with murder._  
  
Before Alec can reply, he follows up another message.  
  
_I might need to defer deep throating until after this play is over._  
  
He laughs out loud at Alec’s immediate response.  
  
_Oh noooooooooooooo!!!!_  
  
Only with Alec, they are technically sexting and Alec manages to be cute. It's a seamless dichotomy, and a talent too, maybe. But it's definitely Alec’s charm - the two sides of him.  
  
At first Magnus had written him off as one of the sporty crowd who doesn't care about anything else but balls and girls. Alec’s been playing for the school's team since middle school and that's how Magnus used to know him, as someone from the team and nothing more.  
  
It didn't help that last year, the soccer's final match was postponed and rescheduled to coincide with the school's drama club production of Bonnie and Clyde. Their spring production which they prepared for almost half the school term, abandoned for the soccer's finals.  
  
It marks the start of long tirade of hallway matchups between the captain of soccer team and the president of drama club. And Magnus first, actually, really, notices Alec when he dropped the offhanded comment, "no, wait, our school has a drama club?" And the soccer team hollered, mirthful and unkind.  
  
They all thought it's a comment meant to demean the significance and popularity of drama club, but Alec just looked genuinely confused and curious. And when he caught Magnus looking, he gave him a small shrug - a "sorry" maybe, or an "eh, whatever". But it did the job - got Magnus curious, interested, attracted. At all the expressions his face makes and his subtle and quite actions that could mean a thousand of things. Right then, Magnus put Alec’s name in his long list of  _I can see myself hooking up with this person._  
  
For a year he nursed that small fleeting crush, side glancing Alec whenever he's in the vicinity, trying to catch his attention, joking louder and see if he'll overhear and laugh. And a couple of times Alec did overhear, and did laugh and Magnus preened with pride and pleasure at the sound of that tinkling laughter that happened because of him, his awesome humor. Over time, Alec had become the only name in Magnus's list of  _I'm gonna be hooking up with this person no matter what._  
  
When they officially met, it was after Wolves’ friendly match with a neighboring school. The best thing about soccer matches, the food stands set up on the sidelines.  
  
There was Magnus, sitting on the hood of Underhill's truck and stealing nachos from him when he sensed Alec with some wolves walking towards the parking lot. It was a thing, like Magnus’s got a radar that beeped whenever a person in his "to hookup with" list came near. And at that point, that radar goes off the loudest around Alec.  
  
Due to some lucky circumstance, Underhill realized he forgot a book from his locker and Meliorn and Jace realized they left something from the locker room. Magnus and Alec were left there in the parking lot, alone, a couple of steps away from each other, the blazing sun going down behind them.  
  
"Hey wolf," Magnus greeted him, tactically not calling Alec by his name and giving the impression that he didn't know it. "Congrats on the game."  
  
He didn't actually watch but judging from the screams from the pitch and Alec happily bouncing his soccer ball around, it's easy to deduce that they won.  
  
Alec eyed him, then the almost empty nacho box in his hand. "Did you really watch or you're only there for the snacks?"  
  
Magnus smiled at that because Alec’s reaction suggested he associated Magnus with the drama club, because none of the club members would willingly watch a Wolves' game. At least that meant, Alec had a slight idea who Magnus was.  
  
"I was actually never there, Underhill bought this," Magnus said, crumpling the now empty box.  
  
For some reasons, Alec seemed pleased by that answer and he came closer, rolling the soccer ball by his feet. "Magnus right?" he asked and Magnus almost slipped from his seat on the beaten truck.  
  
"Yep. That's me,” he says and laughs to dispel whatever awkwardness was brewing in him.  
  
Alec doesn’t seem to notice his discomfort though and Magnus got quite distracted by Alec’s sweaty hair falling over his eyes, and the way that he was trying to brush up by the hand not dribbling the soccer ball. "Say Magnus, why do you have a sword?" he asks, sounding seriously confuse.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah," – Magnus snapped out of it and remembered the wooden sword resting on the car's bumper. "We're doing The Three Musketeers for spring musical," he explains.  
  
"Cool. Are you one of them?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"The three muske-"  
  
"Aramis."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm Aramis one of the musketeers?"  
  
"Oh. Cool." Alec didn't really sound sincere when he said it but Magnus didn't care, at least Alec was polite enough to humor him. "Are there gonna be fight scenes?"  
  
"Yeah. Loads. And all while singing too."  
  
"You're kidding."  
  
"I wish I am. It's quite hard you know, singing while ducking swords and brandishing one as well."  
  
Alec laughed, "I could imagine. "And then he surprised Magnus by dribbling the ball between his feet, his knees and his forehead while singing  _Twinkle twinkle Little Star._  
  
Magnus sat there, laughter lodged in his throat as he watch Alec dribble the ball around in rhythm with the nursery rhyme.  
  
It's actually impressive if not quite ridiculous. Alec only barely lost the ball once, and he didn’t miss a tune.  
  
"There," Alec proudly said afterwards, kicking the ball back to his hands. "It's not that hard."  
  
Magnus made a small sound of disbelief and then indignation and then he was on a rapid fire of how it's different, they're not singing  _twinkle twinkle_  in the play for one, and they are running around the whole stage, it's strenuous and they have like, high notes.  
  
His rant got broken by Alec’s laughter, open and loud and Magnus might be imagining it, a little bit mean. Raphael wasn't kidding when he said the soccer team treats the drama club as a joke.  
  
Alec was close enough and Magnus was known for being impulsive and generally inappropriate, so he grabbed his wooden sword and whacked Alec on the side.  
  
"Ow! What the-"  
  
Magnus leaned back on his palms and cocked his head,  _what you gonna do?_ , he dared. And Alec went up for it and hit Magnus square in the face with his soccer ball.  
  
It hurted like a zap of electric shock and Magnus's mind went white noise for a moment, and he forgot which is up, which is down. He slid off the car, it seemed, he wasn’t sure.  
  
But it was worth it because Alec’s hands were all over him and apologizing profusely, "Shit. Sorry, sorry man. I miscalculated. Sorry. Are you okay?"  
  
Didn't mean though that Magnus forgave him that easily. When he retained his senses, his hand was still gripping the sword, with it he hit Alec, repeatedly, and chased after him until Alec was running for his life.  
  
That was two months ago and Magnus still hasn't got Alec figured out, and forgiven him on that soccer ball to the face.  
  
And they’re not dating, not really, not exactly. But that does make things kind of exciting. Though, it could be annoying sometimes - not being in a flat surface, not knowing where he stands with Alec, having to sneak around, having Alec passing him in the hallway and pretending he hasn't just had Magnus's hand down his pants. It could be a pain in the ass, all of that, but the fact that it bothers him, is Magnus's first clue that whatever this is with UHS Golden Wolve's forward Alec Lightwood, Magnus doesn't want just a mere hookup.  
  
_I don't want this day to end without seeing you again._  
  
It takes a while for Alec’s response.  
  
_Don't be thirsty hoe._  
  
Magnus groans in endearment because that, that's Magnus's line and Alec picked up on it, and is using it against him. He can almost feel Alec smiling to himself at that petty feat.  
  
_I'll wait for you in the parking lot. Or ull wait for me. Whoevers practice finishes first._  
  
Magnus vaguely thinks of saying  _who's thirsty now,_  but Raphael's announcing that break's over and beckoning the cast over.  
  
  
  
  
_What an amazing suggestionnnnn!!!_ , Magnus sends back.  _See you later. xoxo_  
  
(Alec can’t help but grin at his phone and thinks,  _I’m doomed for this pretty little fucker._ )  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Magnus takes his seat in chem lab and does a double-take. On the table next to theirs, two people in front of him, Lydia seats. This girl who keeps trying to dye her hair different colors, only to dye it brown again because any hair color not in the spectrum of brown and black is against school rules. And as a result her hair is more dead and dried than Egyptian mummies. That's not the point though, the point is that she's wearing Alec’s varsity jacket, his Wolves jacket, the number 90 on her back glaring mockingly at Magnus.  
  
"What's your problem?" Catarina pries, flicking him at the back of his neck to get his attention.  
  
This is the other annoying part, he can't even bitch about his situation because Catarina doesn't have the slightest idea what's going on here, no one else does.  
  
"Nothing," he says through his teeth then sneaks his phone under the table to text Alec.  
  
_You must be cold._  
  
He figures that isn't enough to get his point across but he's gonna make Alec work for it.  
  
He's already on second period when Alec responds.  
  
_I'm still waiting for the punchline._  
  
You want a punchline? - Magnus thinks. Here it is.  
  
_If ur cold put on ur jacket. Oh wait... Yeah that's right, you don't have it._  
  
Alec doesn't immediately reply and this could either be because he’s thinking,  _shit,_  and formulating an excuse or thinking,  _whatever, Magnus doesn’t have the right to be jealous._  
  
Magnus wants to throw away his phone. But holds onto it as Alec’s reply comes.  
  
_I can explain._  
  
It’s the first case then. So the pissed off feeling won over the worry. Blinking dots indicate Alec typing and Magnus imagines him typing furiously under his desk, not listening to a single word and feels a certain cruel satisfaction from it.  
  
He lets his phone fall to his lap as he waits, fixes his eyes on the lesson written on the chalkboard, pretends to read it at least.  
  
Beside him Ellias, Catarina and Sebastian are deliberating what they're gonna eat for lunch and how Magnus wish he can join that stupid conversation. But instead, he's having a silent minor crisis.  
  
His phone vibrates and there's a long message of Alec explaining how last weekend in Maia's party, Jace was trying to smooth talk Lydia but ended up pouring beer all over her front and Alec only did the bestfriend duty of lending her his jacket and making sure she doesn't hate Jace and would still maybe go out with him this Saturday. And that he's got no idea Lydia's wearing his jacket to class and that Jace would probably kill him if he knew.  
  
The thing is, it's tradition in this high-school and in some other dumb schools as well - varsity jacket is a stupid sign, a display of territoriality. Lydia wearing Alec’s jacket literally translates as  _I'm Alec’s girl._  
  
And Magnus's lucky enough to have the same class as her and watch her freaking blush and giggle when other girls point out the new addition to her outfit. What a b---  
  
_Uhmm...sorry?_ , Alec adds when Magnus doesn't reply. And it's so Alec, this reaction, and Magnus could probably find this cute if he's currently not quite pissed.  
  
He's not pissed at Alec exactly, maybe at himself, or maybe at both of them. Because while it's really hot sneaking around and fooling around in secret, and while on the surface the reason they're hiding is because they wanted to avoid the reaction of their warring friends, it has come to a point where the real problem has caught up to them. Alec is not out.  
  
While the drama club is supportive of Magnus,  _heck_  most of them in the club is quite gay anyway, he doubts it will be the same for Alec and the soccer team, with Alec the jock and the whole campus.  
  
_Fuck fuck fuck fuck,_  he types but doesn't send. That message isn't for Alec anyway, but for the universe that is making their lives difficult.  
  
He almost drops his phone when someone elbows him, that someone being Sebastian and Magnus realizes all eyes are on him, the teacher having asked him a question.  
  
“Shit,” he whispers, then, "Uh... what's the question again? Sir."  
  
Their teacher sighs, used to Magnus by now. "Next time, pay attention Mr. Bane."  
  
When he sits back, Sebastian, Catarina and Ellias shoot him with judging, suspicious gazes and Magnus gives them a defensive "what?".  
  
(All through the day, Alec messages him with quite pathetic but adorable attempts to appease him.  
  
_Got my wolves jacket back. Twas awkward, she seems not keen on giving it back. But I insisted.  
  
Ill toss this in the washer as soon as i get home. It smells like her cologne and i hate it.  
  
Id even bleach it for good measure.  
  
Wait. No. Duncan said you cant bleach this, itll get ruined.  
  
Aha! Meliorn said there are color-safe bleach.  
  
Ill just make my mom do it, to be safe._  
  
Magnus doesn't reply at all of them but maybe smiles at some, or at every single stupid message.)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He overhears Raphael cornering and interrogating every single one of them in the club. "YOU," Raphael rounds to Ragnor, "HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE LONE WOLF LURKING AT THE BACK OF MY THEATER?"  
  
Magnus doesn't hear the response because he slips away and jumps off the stage before Raphael could reach him next.  
  
It's hard to explain the weird feeling he gets at the sight of Alec sitting in the dark, at the backmost seat of the theater and smiling uncertainly when Magnus comes close enough.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Magnus asks, can’t keep the awe from his voice.  
  
"You're not replying to my messages."  
  
"Don't you have practice?"  
  
"You're not replying to my messages," Alec repeats like that's reason enough to miss soccer practice.  
  
Magnus stares at him for a second, lost for an argument then, "Fine," -- he fishes for his phone, types out  _idiot_  and sends it to Alec.  
  
Somewhere in his pocket, Alec’s phone pings.  
  
"There. Got what you wanted now?"  
  
Alec actually checks his phone and pouts after reading the message.  
  
"Oh for christ's sake," -- Magnus can't have this now so he sends him another message.  
  
_Ill see you after rehearsals, okay?_  
  
Alec lights up and types his response. It hits Magnus how silly this is, texting each other while they're face to face.  
  
_Okay,_  reads Alec’s reply. And then a series of smiley emoticons that cause Magnus's phone to vibrate endlessly in his hands.  
  
"Okay stop," Magnus laughs and knocks away Alec’s phone. Alec grins up at him, reaches over to place his hand on Magnus's hip as Magnus hand moves up to curl on Alec’s neck.  
  
Magnus's not sure if this already looks like an intimate moment, sure feels like it, but he's pretty sure his club members are watching behind him and putting meaning on this beyond and over what it really looks like.  
  
"You should go now," he tells Alec, taking his fingers from his neck and wrapping them around Alec’s wrist to push his hand away. Alec frowns at that small action. He stands, licks his lips and looks about to say something but then, changes his mind and settles with a quiet "okay". His face falls as he turns away.  
  
It feels wrong to let him go like that, so Magnus calls after him, “Alexander.”  
  
But Alec doesn’t look back.  
  
That goes downhill in a blink of an eye, Magnus thinks as he watches Alec exiting the theater.  
  
It speaks of the friendship he has with his club members, and also of how much glum is on his face, because when he hops back on stage, none of the cast says anything.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Last time Alec waited for him in the parking lot, Magnus attacked him with a kiss as soon as he entered his car. Magnus can't help thinking about that as his foot begins to awkwardly tap at the foot of Alec’s car, waiting for Alec, for himself, to say something. Between them, if anyone has more patience for silence though, it's not Magnus.  
  
"I feel like we can put this time to better use," he says, "and not just for staring blankly into space."  
  
It's sundown, it always is by the time they both finish practice.  
  
"I'm sorry," Alec mutters.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"I don't know. Why are you mad at me?" Alec’s tone is grating and Magnus wants to scoff, Alec has got nothing to be mad about. He grits his teeth to keep it.  
  
"I'm not mad."  
  
"Oh really you're not?" Alec says. It’s not a question. He expels an impatient huff of breath and then, "Look, if it's about the jacke-"  
  
"I don't care about your stupid jacket," Magnus snap. For a split second their eyes collide but Magnus quickly pulls his away to stare at the distance instead. It only hits him now, the reason he feels foul, it's everything to do with that jacket and the fact that some random girl can parade around wearing it, and Magnus can't. It's stupid and this is probably the most stupid Magnus felt. And he's mad at himself at being this shallow.  
  
"Then what Magnus?" Alec demands, commanding Magnus to look back with his eyes.  
  
There's no way Magnus would admit to him what's pissing him off, it's hard for Magnus to admit it even to himself.  
  
"Does it honestly bother you if your friends find out?"  
  
That makes Magnus snap his head to face Alec. "WHAT?"  
  
"About this? About us?"  
  
"What are you-"  
  
"You pushed me away-"  
  
"Jesus," Magnus swears, hand banging loudly against his knee. "I was doing that for you! Because last time I checked you're the one who's in the closet and not me."  
  
"Oh so,  _that's it."_  
  
"THAT'S WHAT?!" Magnus's nerves are erupting into angry screams and it looks like Alec’s fired up the same way.  
  
But Alec takes a breath, his shoulders heaving harshly, and when he speaks, it's forcibly calm. "There's no conscious effort on my part at hiding this Magnus," he says, "I'm not hiding this, I'm not hiding myself, I'm not hiding you."  
  
"I didn't say-"  
  
"I just think what I do with my life is none of anybody's business. I don't go around imposing myself on everyone unlike you-"  
  
"Excuse me what?!" Magnus can't believe Alec’s saying that. "You're an asshole. Wow--why do I even bother."  
  
Alec back tracks. "I didn't mean---I like you that way all right? But it doesn't mean I'd like to be like you. I don't put myself live on broadcast and if I don't go around announcing to people who I'm seeing, then I'm sorry if that's a problem for you but I'm not gonna change that."  
  
"Wow thanks for letting me know you're willing to do a lot of things for me," Magnus says. His hand flies to the door and he's able to barely open it before Alec stops him with his fingers holding his wrist.  
  
"Look, what do you want me to do?”—Alec forces him to look at him. “I might be doing a poor job at it, but I'm trying here."  
  
"Come on Magnus," Alec adds, almost a whisper, when Magnus doesn't respond.  
  
"Just---at least, let me know where I stand. Are we doing the---no-label thing, or am I your---I don't know, whatever."  
  
Alec exhales and then, "I don't think it's just my decision. This is us. What do you want us to be?"  
  
“I don’t—it doesn’t matter. I don’t think I quite enjoy being a secret boyfriend anyway.”  
  
With that he exits the car. Before he can bare open more of himself, before he says things he might regret.  
  
He hears the car open from Alec’s side and then Alec yelling after him. “You’re the one who keeps saying---sneaking around, it’s exciting, it’s hot. And I didn’t want you to think I’m boring so I fucking went along with it.”  
  
“I don’t think you’re boring!” Magnus says as he whips around. “But you know what I think? You are—maybe—you are just a coward.” There’s venom in the way he says it and Alec looks honestly stung. But there some bypassers are starting to stop and gather around them. Alec eyes them warily and then, as if to prove Magnus’s point, he takes a step back.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Wolves won their latest game and is now moving on to the championship so they're training harder than ever. Between that and the extended rehearsals for the upcoming spring musical, Magnus and Alec haven't really got the time to talk and figure their shit out. Magnus tries his best to keep it off his mind, because as Raphael promised, Magnus is gonna be murdered if he messes up in the musical. Magnus would probably beat Raphael to it though, he'll kill himself before Raphael gets to him.  
  
He has to preserve at least one good thing in his life at the moment. And it's quite easy, surprisingly so, to lose himself in the whirlwind of activities, of music.  
  
Opening show comes and Magnus's not bragging, but he thinks he freaking nailed it, so much that afterwards, Raphael rolled his eyes and gives him a bone-crushing hug. And then he gets lost in sea of arms hugging a piece of him - there's the club members, his parents, his teacher. He vaguely retains the sense to congratulate the third musketeer, Ragnor. Ragnor reaches him first, slapping him upside the head before giving him a hug. Ragnor pulls away with a shit-eating. "A wolf is waiting for you backstage," he singsongs before prancing away.  
  
Magnus's kind of frozen in place. Ragnor could be joking, he could be a little too extreme like that but Raphael nudges him in the hip and glares at him.  _Go on,_  he seems to say. Magnus just blinks at him and Raphael sighs obnoxiously and all but shove Magnus away. "Go get your---whats his name, whats his face doesn't matter. Just go and stop being lovesick."  
  
Magnus finds himself half-running backstage.  
  
He stops on his tracks, on the make-up table, inside the dressing room slash storage room and amidst the mess of costumes and props, Alec sits.  
  
And he's holding a bouquet of flower.  
  
Some of the club members are still going in and out of the room and throwing looks back forth the two of them, and there’s some teasing  _ohhhh and ahhhh._  
  
And it's, it's amazing is what it is. Magnus feels like he's in a movie. And the way Alec smiles, a little unsure and a lot so fucking handsome, gets Magnus's feet to move on their own, to move closer until he's between Alec’s legs and accepting the flowers in his arms.  
  
"Raphael said it's tradition, to bring flowers after a play, so..." Alec trails off into an embarrassed shrug.  
  
"I've never received flowers before," Magnus says, his eyes down to the arrangement of flowers in his arms, lilac amidst yellow and white, Magnus can't even begin to name what flowers are they.  
  
"Good. I'm the first one then."  
  
Alec puts his hands on either of Magnus's hips and Magnus turns, looks down at Alec instead.  
  
"You were amazing," Alec says quietly when their eyes lock. Magnus is blocking the light, his shadow falls on Alec’s face but he can see the brightness in Alec’s eyes.  
  
"Thank you," he says as quiet as Alec. "You really watched?"  
  
"Yep," Alec says, proud of himself. "Had to drag Luke though, to accompany me."  
  
"Seriously? You got him to watch?"  
  
"Yes, and I think Raphael earned himself a new fan."  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Yes wow. You all were spectacular," Alec says with a tiny laugh. And Magnus just sort of falls, falls forward and drops a kiss on Alec’s lips. The hands on his waist tightened, Magnus pulls back enough to sigh softly and Alec plants a quick kiss against his chin.  
  
"Let's do it Magnus."  
  
Magnus lets the bouquet balance between their bodies and uses both hands to cup Alec’s neck, his fingers splayed in the white expanse of skin, as Alec continues to speak.  
  
"Let's do that thing where I---maybe, hold your hand in public, while walking down the hallway yeah? And I'll walk you to your next class, or you'll walk me, depends on whose classroom is nearer. And I'll come to your plays and you'll come to my games and I---I can imagine you'll--like cheer loudly on the sidelines and be kind of embarrassing and distracting and Luke will try and ban you from our matches but I'll bribe him with Raphael's number to let you off. You know---stuff like that. Let’s do them, all of them."  
  
Magnus's heartbeat is pumping through his throat, his fingers frozen against Alec’s skin. He can feel Alec’s pulse too, throbbing strong and fast underneath his fingers.  
  
"Do you actually have Raphael's number?" is all he manages to say.  
  
"No. But you do."  
  
Magnus sucks in a breath, this is it then. All that weeks of agony, ends now. "Fuck let's do it then."  
  
"Yeah?" Alec asks like Magnus could say anything remotely close to no with that kind of offer.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Even before the syllable completely leaves his lips, Alec’s pushing to his feet and wrapping his arms around him. Magnus squawks because.  
  
"You're crushing my flowers."  
  
So Alec reaches between them and carelessly wedges the bouquet away. Magnus could be indignant if he's not distracted by Alec’s mouth on his, and his arms around him.  
  
(It's gonna need some getting used to.  _This._  In the afterparty of the cast of Three Musketeers, Alec spent most of the night attached on Magnus's back and half-hiding his face against his shoulder. Of course the drama club doesn't let go of the opportunity to dote on the lone wolf. And it's funny and kind of makes Magnus weirdly pleased, how Alec doesn't even try to defend the honor of the Wolves, and even trash-talks them a bit for the amusement of Magnus’s friends. Magnus whispers to him, "Look at you, trying to win my friends over." Alecs miles and doesn't even deny it.)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"COME ON! LUKE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? DON'T SLEEP ON THE GAME! BE AGRESSIVE!!!"  
  
The people below them are all looking back at them and it's either Raphael doesn't notice or doesn't care. Magnus is just hoping they don't get evicted by officials. He doesn't even bother controlling Raphael because no one can control Raphael.  
  
"Jesus christ! Who the hell enjoys an hour long match of absolutely nothing happening," Raphael says, a little softly this time but still loud enough to get them disapproving and scandalized glares. "Not if you count boys rolling around in the grass."  
  
"I don't know about you, but I'm quite enjoying the sight."  
  
Raphael looks at him, like he's quite disappointing. "It will only count as enjoyable if you're participating in the rolling around part."  
  
"So maybe you should try out for the team next season."  
  
"You kidding me? I wouldn't willingly run and break a sweat unless someone’s chasing me with a chainsaw." He stops short. "Maybe not even then. I'll just gladly accept my fate."  
  
Magnus's unamused snort gets lost in the loud roar of the crowd. The two of them snap their eyes to the pitch where the Wolves are running towards the goal and Magnus realizes with a swoop in his stomach and a jump in his heartbeat, that it's Alec carrying the ball. A defender gets right in front of him and Alec kicks the ball pass him, easily sidesteps the defender and retains control of the ball. The crowd cheers but Alec’s still a good distance from the goal and defenders are gathering, running towards him. Then Alec spots Luke and passes and… and Luke scores! He scores! The first goal of the match.  
  
The whole stand is up on their feet and Raphael and Magnus are whooping like maniacs.  
  
Down the pitch, Luke is circling around, celebrating with the crowd. And then he stops infront of where Raphael and Magnus are standing and presses two fingers over his lips and points them at Raphael. Raphael looks insulted and like he'd deck Luke later for it but the crowd is cheering. Alec has caught up to Luke and jumps at his back and then winks and shoots a flying kiss towards Magnus's direction.  
  
“Fuck me,” Magnus mumbles mindlessly and he can almost feel Raphael rolling his eyes.  
  
The rest of the Wolves runs up to Luke and Alec and catch the two in a group hug that looks wild and painful.  
  
"Animals," Raphael comments and smirks smugly at the prying and judging gazes directed their way from the girls in front of and all around them. He turns to Magnus then. "I guess he's good," he casually admits, cocking a brow towards Luke.  
  
It's futile, Raphael's attempt to downplay how much he likes Luke because in Wolves' party to celebrate them being the District's champion, Magnus spots the two of them sucking faces in a dark corner. When Magnus points this out to Alec, Alec looks unimpressed. "I guess this is truce between the wolves and the drama club then?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(The next Monday, on his way to class, Magnus is holding Alec’s hand and is wearing his Wolve's jacket.)  
`


End file.
